Billy Bob: Take Off, Eh?

Note to you, dear reader:  When I started this post at around 9pm, the interview was on YouTube, I uploaded it on my post so that you could see it.  I’m double-checking it as I always do before I publish a post, and lo and behold, at 11:15pm, YouTube states that “We’re sorry, this video is no longer available”.   ISN’T THAT CONVENIENT?!?  I’m thinking SOMEbody has his hillbilly knickers in a knot…… I’ll give you the link anyways, in case it miraculously becomes available, but if it doesn’t load after 30 seconds, you know something’s up:   

UPDATE AS OF April 9 at 7:00AM:  THE LINK TO THE INTERVIEW NOW WORKS JUST FINE   SO GO AHEAD AND CLICK ON IT FOR THE FULL EFFECT:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJWS6qyy7bw

I found this unofficial but excellent version of the interview’s transcript, which might help put things into context for you (and this blogger is pretty interesting, too!): 

http://rankin-inlet.blogspot.com/2009/04/almost-complete-transcript-of-billy-bob.html

However you read this, it’s up to you……So here we go, with a one and a two and a one two three four:

Billy Bob Thornton says Canadians are mashed potatoes without the gravy.  Canadians are very open-minded about their music, but I’d be surprised if The Boxmasters succeed to turn ”gravy-less” bland, unresponsive Canadian concert-goers on to their brand of music after Mr. Thornton’s less-than stellar interview.   I was embarrassed for his band members, who seemed to genuinely want to talk about their music.   Watching the interview, you could tell that they knew what was coming, they could see the top of Billy Bob’s head about to explode.  These are three grown men used to cleaning up after one big baby’s hissy fits.   Kind of sad and painful to watch.  Maybe they’ll consider dumping His Royal Arse and continue their musical journey on their own while gaining the respect of their peers and some fans along the way.

Much will be written about this, much already has.   Here’s my two-cents.

 BBT is a legend in his own pot-polluted mind.    Kudos to Jian Ghomeshi who, in typical Canadian fashion, showed class throughout the  interview and even treated King Billy Bob with respect that wasn’t earned.    The deal that BBT made with the producers of Q was that there were to be no questions about Mr. OscarWeiner’s film career (only primadonnas “give instructions”; real hard-working, touring musicians are more than happy to talk about their music and their achievements to everyone who will listen).  And not once did the host of Q ask him anything remotely connected to movies or films or anything he had done in the past.  All his questions had to do with music, with the band, with his musical influences.   Standard questions that are asked of anyone who is relatively new (which the Boxmasters are), questions that let the audience discover a little more.   To these questions,  Petulant Thorn-ton answered with the same “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  As a means of introduction and to put it all into context, the host mentioned that BBT was an actor (Oh horror) and that music was always a priority for him, that the other stuff was something that sidetracked his musical aspirations.  You can see DivaBob rolling his eyes, with his mouth hanging open, ready to sling-blade whatever gets in his way next.   

Mr. Thornton, did you really think that your band would get on the radio up here or anywhere for that matter,  if you hadn’t been Billy Bob Thornton-award-winning-actor-screenwriter?   And to be quite honest, Mr. HeadStuckUpMyArse, no one outside Arkansas has heard of the Boxmasters, so isn’t the point of touring & doing radio interviews to get people to listen to and appreciate your music?   

Egos are a funny thing (in the funny-weird way), and celebrity egos are even funnier (in the funny haha way).   Billy Bob was being a billy bob, when he actually thought that he’s as musically relevant as Tom Petty.    Tell me, quick quick, when I say Tom Petty, what’s the first thing that comes to mind, eh?  I have at least 12 songs playing back-to-back in my head, enhanced by the images of album covers and concert footage I’ve seen since I was ten.  Over THIRTY years’ worth.     

Good, okay, now….tell me, quick quick, when I say the Boxmasters, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?  

……………………….

Did you draw that blank or did I?  Exactly.   Next week, no one will care about or remember who these guys are.   The Boxmasters are here in Canada to promote their 3rd CD, opening for Willie Nelson (who couldn’t get Jessica Simpson to open for him…nuff said) at several venues in Ontario.  Judging by this interview, and by the lame comments about Canada that “Bud” posts on their touring blog, I’m guessing that they’ll remain a blank entry in the collective consciousness of music-lovers. 

Take off, eh?

Chantal xoxoxoxo

Turbulence

This hasn’t been the greatest week.  I’ve had worse, but I’ve had better.   Lessons are being learned, but must the learning take place all in one week?  

Like trust your instincts and if it doesn’t feel right, then don’t do it.  I’m getting better at this one, but it doesn’t seem to be fully ingrained in my psyche yet, where it happens naturally.    Case in point:  my stint in the acting resource person job at work.   My job is to help my co-workers find answers to problems they encounter while doing their job.  The work is challenging and stimulating, even if I’m mentally exhausted at the end of the day.  I’m learning tons of new things, and most days fly by, which is great.  What I’m really having a hard time with are all the drama and diva antics that go on,  and seeing facets of people that are unprofessional, backbiting, undermining, and there’s an ugly element of excremental elitism that hangs around, leaving a bad odour.   Although I believe I’m doing ok in helping people out, judging by comments I’ve received,  the schoolyard drama that goes on, the conflicts that arise because of poor handling of situations, getting caught in these conflicts,  all this has completely turned me off.   I knew this before, which was why I never showed interest in applying for this type of position, either permanently or on an acting basis.   Despite being very content doing the work I was doing, I allowed myself to be influenced by what others thought I should do, that I should not miss this opportunity, blablabla.   The good thing is that this acting position will be done in September, then I go back to doing what I like.  The bad thing is that it’s only mid-June……sigh.  I’m trying to keep my focus on helping people, and let the other stuff go.  

After a week of being pursued by someone who strongly appeared to be interested in getting to know me (given that he called me almost every night, met for lunch, sent me emails), and making plans to do something together, I woke up last Monday to not one, but TWO emails that he was dumping me.   From my perspective, the attraction for me was that he was a firefighter, but that was it.  I had decided within 10 minutes of talking to him that he wouldn’t be someone I could see myself being with in the long-term  (after I told him I wasn’t looking to be in a relationship, without even asking me why, he told me I was too picky….strike one).  But I thought he might be someone nice to date (until I realized that he loved to talk about himself and didn’t ask alot of questions about me….strike two).  So the attention was flattering, and what woman wouldn’t want to date a firefighter, right?  Well, not one who came down on me because I expressed that I will probably never be able to afford a big house, that what I’m looking for is something affordable and cozy for me and my children.  He informed me that he really hated to hear me say that (this was during the lunch date), proceeded to tell me that I was negative and will never get what I want, and launched into his new philosophy that he picked up from The Secret that he saw on Oprah.   My eyes glazed over as this divorced father of two explained how I needed to wish for something in the right way in order to get it.  For those of you who have been reading my blog, you know YOU KNOW that I don’t believe that you get what you want by wishing for it.   But he didn’t know this because in all of the times he spoke to me, he never bothered to find out what my thoughts on anything were.   Strike three.  

Ok, so you’re saying:  “Chantal, what is your problem with this?  You had a guy show interest, etc etc, you weren’t that attracted, then he dumped you because his ex-girlfriend came back in the picture.  So what?”  And you’re right.  This was maybe the first time I met someone where I completely let him pursue me, and although I felt a little like I was playing a game, I think I did the right thing by playing it cool because in the end, he wasn’t that into me, and I found that I was looking for reasons to be interested in him.   I guess I was disappointed that I woke up feeling all happy that I was going on a real date that night, and wound up being  dumped by email, which I found rather cowardly.  Especially for a firefighter.  It’s really not a big thing, in retrospect, but I just thought I’d mention it in light of everything else that I’ve been trying to get a handle on lately. 

 There’s a relationship in my life that I’ve been trying to bring to a close, because the circumstances require that it not continue.  And it’s been one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve had to do.   I say trying to end, because the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, and this trying has been going on for a little while now.   Letting go, completely letting go of the entire relationship, is difficult, and doing it in stages appears to make it harder.  So I’m feeling that a clean, complete, no-contact break is needed for everyone’s sake.   Despite it being very flawed, I was happy being me within this relationship…..I felt safe, deeply desired,  respected, adored, I could express all of who I was, the good and the bad, and still feel that I was understood.   I never felt I was playing a role, or being placed in a role.   The giving and taking was circular, there was no starting or ending point to it, there was no measure of who gave more or who took more, it was continuous and loving and generous.  What I gave, I received tenfold.   I was happy being me.  I keep saying that over and over in my mind (and will stop at some point, but not right now).   I don’t believe I’ve had a relationship with someone before where I’ve felt that I was really happy being me.   That’s not to say that I could not feel this with someone else…..as my beautiful Best Friend gently reminds me:  There are 6 billion people in the world……  So I guess I’m in mourning, a little.   This relationship was  not willed into existence, no one went looking for this to grow into what it has become.  And now it needs to end.   Time and space away is what everyone needs.  Not with the hope that it will be renewed later on, but that by giving this time & space, by breaking away completely, it will allow for everyone to focus on healing and moving on, without being burdened by keeping some elements of the relationship going.   And I know I can do this,  I know I can move through this,  because I care deeply.  Therein lies the paradox:  it’s because I care deeply that makes it so difficult to do. 

And I miss my kids.  I do try to keep busy, really I do, but I get these panic attacks that sneak up on me (I guess they wouldn’t be attacks if you could see them coming from a mile away).  It will happen anywhere, at home, at work, when I’m out running errands, when I’m out with my friends….I’ll be driving home after work, alone, and I’ll think “I’m going home to an empty apartment.”  And I’ll burst into tears.  Or I’ll read something that will trigger thoughts of the kids, and in my head I’ll be thinking “What if I asked M if I could have the kids with me all the time?”  I realize that’s not in the kids’ best interests for now, and I know I’m having all these little angst ambushes because I’m really lonely and miss them horribly and feel I’m missing out on such big parts of their lives.   But I see them tomorrow…..one more night to get through.  

This was a long post, and as I re-read it, it sounds whiny…..maybe I should’ve written more during the week, but there was too much going on inside me, I couldn’t sort things out.   I’ve come to notice that when things are emotionally difficult for me,  I can’t finish my sentences when I speak to someone, or I write in spurts and starts, nothing coherent….I was doing alot of that this week.  Very embarassing.   

Yesterday, my sister & I enjoyed a day of hitting the thrift stores in town & settling in for coffee & a long gabfest.  She brightens my day with her funny stories, with her exuberance for life.    Thank you, my Fairy Godmother…….

Life is good.  Turbulence has dissipated somewhat…..til the next time!

Love, Chantal xoxox

Do I LOOK Like I Want To Read A Book With You?

April 15, 2007

I was at the library yesterday, me & P were checking out the kids’ section.  There weren’t alot of people, it was generally quiet, one older gentleman reading the paper nearby.  In the kids section, there was a man sitting with his 3-4 year old little girl, reading her a story.  Which was really nice to see, we all need to read to our kids.  But I got a creepy feeling from this guy the minute P & I walked into the library, because this guy was reading LOUDLY to his child, in that sing-songy voice alot of us use when we speak to 3-4 year olds, as if they were moronic idiots who don’t understand anything we say if we don’t say it LOUDLY & with exagerrated phoniness.  I can understand putting expression in your story to make it interesting for the child, but even when the story was finished, he would still speak to his child in this tone, which was really irritating.  So anyways, P & I are looking at the DVDs & I’m keeping my eye on this guy, because like I said, I got icky vibes.  He kind of looked like a biker type with his goatee, with his purple (yes, purple) bandana tied around his head, and his mirror sunglasses that he kept on inside.  He actually looked like he needed a fix. 

So P picks out some DVDs for him & G, and as we’re walking away, Purple Bandana Guy says:  Did you find some good movies?  P just gave him this unsmiling stonefaced look (I taught him well), and I turned and just sort of shot him a look that I hoped said “Don’t you know not to talk to little kids you don’t know, you jerk?”  So I settled P in a big chair near the old gentleman reading the paper, gave him (P) some books & went to look some more in the kids section for books.  So this Purple Bandana Guy says to me in this leering voice “Would YOU like to read a book with us?”  I turned and if I could’ve dropped-kicked him, I would’ve.  I gave him the coldest look I could & said “No.”

Like, WTF is that?  I felt sorry for his little girl…

Life is full of dweebs.