An AmeriCan Yarn

I love Rick Mercer.   (Go to www.rickmercer.com)  He’s funny, smart, irreverent, and is never afraid of making a fool of himself for the sake of  his country.    He talks about political things that I can never say on this blog, so I thank him for being my voice.   Plus his famous rants are always bang on, and leave me cheering and laughing.   Rick’s sense of humour projects what lies at the heart of Canada:  cheering for the underdog, the ever-present self-loathing and inferiority complex along with the justifying need to overcome those things, the desire to do the right thing, and the righteous beast within that rears its head in the face of injustice and especially in the wake of stupid politicians’ actions and words.  Rick is a master at highlighting the inconsistencies, fallacies, and sometimes just plain dumbness of politics in Canada.  And with that as a springboard, he’ll never run out of material.

A few years back, he ran a segment on his show, where he went down to the States and held man-in-the-street interviews, asking your average American citizen questions about Canada.  The point was to highlight how little Americans know about Canada and Canadians in general, as opposed to our ingrained  knowledge of the USA, its culture and its politics.   And you know, it stands to reaason that we WOULD know more about the US,  given that they are bigger and more influential.   Even if I sometimes feel Canada is saturated with American culture, it’s still better to know the score with your neighbour than it is to be ignorant, even if you come by that knowledge and understanding through assimilation and osmosis.  (I’ll try to apply that same logic to my own tale of two solitudes……but that’s a whole other blog post). 

ANYWAYS…..  Rick Mercer’s segment was funny, the people interviewed were good-natured about their ignorance of we, the people of Canada, and it made for good TV.  Everyone was happy.  But here’s where I got to thinking……

As you know, dear reader, my Mr. C. is an American living in Canada with me, his French-Canadian sweetheart (his words, not mine).  You would think that there wouldn’t be too many differences between us, given that I’ve just said that Canada is absorbed into US culture.    However, Mr. C’s political views (sometimes) clash real loud with mine, and we’ve had many opportunities in the past two years to put the word “truce” into action.  Yet our cultural differences have knit us into this warm and woolly scarf, where we bask in happy contentment & respect for each other’s country.  There’s more to be gotten from learning and understanding then there is in standing with your arms crossed, unwilling to budge.  Especially when you’re married.  And you sleep in the same bed. 

As Mr. C. and I embarked on this amazing knitting project of enmeshing our two selves together, I found myself feeling more and more….dare I say it…..ignorant.  Ignorant of my heritage, ignorant of my culture, ignorant of how my government operates.   As a newbie to Canada,  just about everything was new and different to Mr. C.:   our “Monopoly” money (he eventually conceded that ours is better),  health care (’nuff said),  looking for work, Celsius degrees, our politics, our history, our history as it relates to American history, our perceptions of Americans, our perceptions of him….HE was new and different here;  people were quick to pick up on his accent, to his growing bemusement, because he doesn’t feel he has one.   I keep trying to explain that we ALL have accents, however, it might take time. 

So whenever Mr. C. came across something he wasn’t familiar with,  he would, of course, turn to me, his smart Canadian wife, his link with his new world, and he would ask:

“Why did Trudeau repatriate the constitution?”   ”What’s the House of Commons?”    “What’s the FLQ?”   “What’s the NDP?”    ”Why do I have to take my shoes off in the house?”    “Why do you have  a Governor-General?”    “Why do magazines cost more in Canada?”    “Who’s Brian Mulroney?”     “What’s the deal with Québec?”        “What’s that in Farenheit/gallons/miles?”     ”Why the conflict between the English & the French?”     “What’s a ‘too-que’ and why do you pronounce it ‘too-que’ but you spell it ‘toque’ ?”  ……..

And I, in all my Canadian smartness, found that more often than not, I could only smile sweetly and say: 

“I’ll have to look that up and get back to you…..”. 

It’s embarrassing.  It took marrying an American to make me see how pathetic my knowledge, awareness, and understanding of my own country was.   When you know your history, when you understand your culture, how your government works, all of that stuff, it goes deep inside of you and gives you a much deeper sense of belonging and enlightenment.  You understand others on another level, you see past the garbage-media-fed mentality and you succeed in “un-stunting” your own growth:  in other words, what was “Us vs. Them” becomes “Us & Them”. 

But when you don’t fully know from whence you came, and when you can’t explain the whys and hows of important events that have shaped your country, it’s more than embarrassing.  It’s apathetic.   Apathy is the opposite of passion and enthusiasm.  And I am nothing if I’m not passionate. 

So, in case I’m not the only Canadian who finds herself in this apathetic boat-to-nowhere, here’s what I propose to Rick Mercer:

Mr. Mercer, in the same vein as your “What do Americans know about Canada ” segment on your show, maybe you could do one where you hit different provinces and ask the average person on the street what they know about Canada.  We’re quick to laugh at Americans’ lack of knowledge about us, but I think we’d get a bigger laugh at our own deficiencies about ourselves.   We’ve proven time and again that we have a great sense of humour (elections, anyone?),  and think of what this would do to the self-esteem of Canadians everywhere….by doing this, you would greatly contribute  to the enlightenment and progress of this magnificent country!  Take a step to lead us out of this apathy, Mr. Mercer!   Show us the short-sighted, unaware people that we really are, so we can become open-minded and true citizens of Canada and the world!

I, for one, am trying to take a more active interest in how my country is put together, if only to preserve the image that Mr. C. has of me.  If he starts suspecting that I may not be completely up to snuff in the brains department, I may NEVER get him to take his shoes off inside the house! 

In the meantime, me & Mr. C. will cast on,  knitting &  purling our lives in a unique red, white, and blue pattern, happy and content to know that our warm and woolly scarf grows warmer and woollier with each difference shared and understood.       

Love,

Chantal xoxox

The Bridger

I like this guy.  I’ve been keeping it on the down-low, but I really like this guy.   I haven’t read any of his books, and I don’t really plan on it, but I’ve followed his ascent to the White House with a distant fascination.    Yesterday, the news covered revellers in Toronto during the inauguration ceremony being held in Washington, with the reporter commenting something to the effect that Canadians wished for someone like Obama to run for the top job in Canada.    That about sums it up for me. 

Regretfully, I only caught parts of the inauguration speech on the news last night after work, but what I heard in those seconds-long sound bites brought tears to my eyes.  I even wept a little this morning as I read the transcript of his speech.        

I say I was fascinated from a distance with the Barack Obama campaign.  We’ve watched the American election closely in our household, my husband being American, and both of us being interested in politics.  There was a shift in opinion at some point, however, which caused other opinions to be kept more or less to oneself, for fear of offending or putting the other on the defensive.    Best to listen attentively and try to gain understanding from where the other is coming from, and to run potentially controversial arguments in your own head.   As in parenting, so it goes in a marriage…..you have to choose your battles.   Hence the fascination from a distance…..

 I was elated that Barack Obama won, because not only did he defeat a “My-way-or-the-highway” regime, he did it by stirring passions and giving hope to people of a country rapidly losing respect for itself and losing the respect of the rest of the world.   By renewing people’s confidence in elected leaders, he gave people confidence in themselves that they can accomplish great and important things.   Not that it matters what I thought, I’m a Canadian, living in Canada.  But not everyone in our household was feeling it for Obama.    Upon Obama’s election victory, the reluctant concession to his winning was tempered with giving cautious congratulations, with the hope that Obama could live up to the hype.  

Much has been said all over creation about Barack Obama’s lack of experience.  Here’s what I think:  Lack of experience does not indicate lack of wisdom or confidence, and certainly not lack of ability.   Nor does having experience indicate wisdom and confidence, or ability to do the job at hand.   A good leader knows you can’t do it all by yourself and chooses people who will offer their own experience, wisdom, and support to help move the country forward. 

In our own elections here in Canada,  there’s a lot of strategic voting that goes on.  I admit that I have voted for a certain party, not so much because I believe in what they say or purport to represent, but because I don’t like what the ruling party has done or could do if it gets voted in.  This doesn’t make me feel very good, because I’m electing someone who represents the lesser of two (or four, in Canada) evils.    But if I was an American and had the duty and privilege of voting in this recent election, I would have voted Barack Obama hands down.  Not only would  I have had an opportunity to join my voice with millions of others to send the ne0-cons packing, but I would finally have the personal satisfaction of voting  for a person who demonstrates integrity and vision.     

We all know he’s got monumental challenges ahead of him.  It’s redundant to say this and it serves no purpose to state the obvious.  I’m sure he’s quite aware of what he’s facing.  But have you noticed something?  President Obama is up for it.  Not only is he up for it,  but with his confidence and charisma, he inspires others to do the same, to rise up to the challenges we face in this world.  He’s a bridger, bringing people together, polarizing citizens and making use of people’s desire for a better world.  He capitalizes on hope, not fear.    Can you say that about any  leader of any country? 

Mr. President, you have captured the imagination of millions in your country and around the world.   As I saw footage of the crowds waiting for you in Washington, I thought to myself:  Imagine all the people that are there, waiting to hear you speak.  Imagine what that experience will be like for them.  Imagine all the good that will come from those people, when they go back to their homes, how they will be inspired and how they will take that inspiration and turn it into millions of acts of change and hope.   Things that most people will never hear about, things that might take years to realize, but things which will have positive, profound effects on society.   I cannot think of ever feeling this way  about politics in my own country, of being motivated and inspired,  and knowing that good things will come.   

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…..dialogue continues, open minds save the day.  As we watched images of the crowds in Washington and news coverage of the inauguration, I wondered how my  husband felt, seeing such open displays of optimism and joy.   Myself, I was filled with pride for these people, and felt as much a part of it all, despite not being American.   

I often hear of how the United States of America has lost respect from other countries, how the media focuses on its shortcomings and on all the negativity that the US  perpertrates throughout the world,  how the good that America does is often swept aside or overshadowed by warmongerers and greed.    I think this 44th presidency is the turning point that will shift the tide of popular feeling and opinion, taking  energy from past glories to forge ahead with a new purpose.  

This 44th presidency is  the bridger.

God bless America.

Love,

Chantal

Gardasil’s Net Widens

Back in the news again, Merck & Co is now wanting to have this vaccine available to women 27 to 45 years old.   Here are the latest links:

http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2009/01/09/gardasil-fda.html#articlecomments

 http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/cancer/gardasil.html

 http://www.merck.com/newsroom/press_releases/product/2009_0109.html

I am continually amazed at the speed at which this vaccine has passed legislation in ANY country.   Then again, consider this:  Merck & Co.  has to fill its coffers somehow after the Vioxx debacle, so what better way than to develop and market (emphasis on market) a vaccine as one that MAY prevent cervical cancer, lobby governments around the world to make it mandatory for school age-girls, create fear and guilt campaigns, charge $360 a pop, AND I’ m not done.  In the United States, any girl or woman between the ages of 9 and 26 is obligated to have this vaccine before she can obtain her Green Card.   If she is not vaccinated against a form of cancer, her application will be denied.   The cancer itself is not a communicable disease, unlike AIDS or tuberculosis or Hepatitis-B.  Yet you’re required by law to be vaccinated against possibly developing cervical cancer.   But the 4 strains that can cause this type of cancer ARE transmitted sexually….but THAT part is kept on the low-down.  Why is that?  I’ll save my opinions on that for another post because it’s a very hot potato, and you know me, I burn water, so what I have to say on that part of the issue needs to be thought out a little more.

So now, Merck & Co  has one target group, the 9-to-26-year-olds.  Cha-ching!    They’ve managed to include potential immigrant populations (I only know of the US that has adopted this policy in their immigration rules, I haven’t verified any other country).  Cha-ching-ching!!    Now they are on the cusp of adding the next target group, the 27-to-45-year-olds.   Cha-ching-ching-ching!!!!!

And what better group than this to market an “anti-cancer” vaccine to (even if that’s not what it is):  women, most of them working, lots with children, at a time in their lives where they are concerned with their health and well-being and  that of their families and friends, in an age in history where the cancer bogeyman lurks in all that we eat and drink, all that we touch and breathe in. 

I’ve created a page in the sidebar called Gardasil, and will keep adding as time goes on.  What I say about this topic is my opinion.  I don’t pretend to know more than the next person, nor do I dicate anyone to get their child vaccinated or not.  I don’t stand in judgement of anyone who does, or of anyone who doesn’t.    If I say anything, it’s this:  Keep informed, look at the big picture, take care of yourself and those you’re responsible for, get a regular Pap test if you’re a woman, and listen to your intuition.

Love,

Chantal xoxoxo

Cover Your Cough. Please.

I read on the news the other day about how health officials in Ontario are looking to contact passengers who were on a Greyhound bus to Windsor on August 31.   At first, I thought there might have been another murder.  But the reason they are seeking these people is because those passengers may have been exposed to Tuberculosis.  TB.  I’m reading that and thinking, TB?  In 2008? 

http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2008/10/02/tb-greyhound.html

Then, this morning, as I’m looking at different photo blogs that I enjoy, I come across this:

http://www.xdrtb.org/

Have a look around on that web site, the photographer is James Nachtwey and he has a compassionate vision and unique approach to bringing the impact of this disease to the world’s attention, with the goal of eradicating this preventable and treatable scourge.  The launch of the project was October 3, 2008, and there are events worlwide going in the next coming weeks.  In the Where To Watch tab, the website lists main events that are happening to promote awareness and action. 

Because it’s a huge problem in other countries, that alone should arouse our compassion and desire to do what we can.  But TB is here in our part of the world as well, and it’s probably more prevalent than we realize.  I have no medical training, I don’t know what all the statistics are, but just the cursory glance at the information that I was able to find in my online search was enough to give me a basic understanding of what tuberculosis is, how it’s spread, and what to do to protect myself and others as much as possible. 

Knowledge is power, and using our knowledge to help others is one of the most powerful things we do as humans on this planet.  Find what you can do, whether it be creating awareness about XDRTB, or anything else that you feel passionate about, and share your knowledge and your talents.  This photographer had a vision, and created something tangible where people can become sensitized to the plight of millions.  Just browsing the project’s website provides ideas and catalysts to creative and meaningful ways to reach people.  Let it inspire you.

And in the meantime, please cover your coughs and sneezes (if you can’t, cough or sneeze in your upper sleeve), please WASH YOUR HANDS ALOT, please keep your spit to yourself, and please get medical attention if you’ve been coughing for more than two weeks…. a  tenacious cough might not be a sign of TB, but it’s not  good sign, either. 

Love,

Chantal xoxoxoxo

Peaceful Tomorrows

Everyone knows where they were and what they were doing on this day seven years ago.  Since that time,  alot of really bad policies and destructive actions have emerged from September 11th, but there has also been much good that we sometimes cannot see until some healing takes place.

There is an advocacy group who has turned this catalyctical event into a channel for peace.  What resonates with me is the desire of these families of September 11th to keep their personal losses from becoming a basis for justification for more violence and revenge. 

That takes alot of inner peace and courage. 

http://peacefultomorrows.org/index.php

Love,

Chantal xoxoxo

Et tu, Vegan?

A few months ago, I adopted a vegan way of eating.  It was a natural progression for me, as I had been vegetarian for about a year prior to that, so eliminating all animal products from my diet as much as possible was an easier accomplishment than giving up caffeine was.   Going caffeine-free was physically painful for a few weeks, whereas there were no negative effects to becoming vegan. 

Except the social ones.

I did not become a vegan to judge other people’s ways of eating or living.  I still feed my children animal products (although on a much lesser scale than before), for several reasons.  They divide their time between my home and their father’s non-vegan home, and I need to respect that.   I don’t impose my choices about food on my children, on my husband, on my friends.  If I’m invited for a meal somewhere, I rarely mention that I’m a vegan; I’ll just pass on what I don’t eat, and load up on what I DO eat.  If asked by my host if I’d like a piece of that pork tenderloin, I’ll just say “No, thanks”, and comment on what a great meal they’ve prepared.   Having manners and being polite is about putting other people at ease, which I feel is more important than imposing my views.   Unless I was allergic, I don’t feel it’s necessary to advise in advance that I’m a vegan.  Of course, the topic might come up, and then I’m fine with discussing it, but other than that, you probably wouldn’t know I was a vegan unless I told you I was.

When I’m asked why I became a vegan, I usually say it’s because I want to be healthier.  Which is true.  My first reason is that this is about me.   But it’s not the only reason.   Here are reasons number 1098, 1099, and 1100:

After being vegetarian for a while, I read  Slaughterhouse: The Shocking Story of Greed, Neglect, and Inhumane Treatment Inside the U.S. Meat Industry by Gail A. Eisnitz.    I’ll warn you right now, if you decide to read this book, be prepared to be emotionally affected.  And probably physically ill.   But knowledge is power, not the kind of power to dominate, but the kind that gives freedom for people to make this world better.  

I receive email health hazard alerts, product recalls, and food-poisoning outbreaks from the Canadian Food Inspection Agency   http://www.inspection.gc.ca/english/toce.shtml.  As my daughter has allergies to nuts, it’s sometimes helpful to know when a food manufacturer has failed to indicate on their labels that a product does in fact contain nuts.  With the recent listeriosis outbreak in Canada, I’ve been receiving on average TEN emails per day from the CFIA, with the subject heading as Listeria.  Another reason I’m grateful for being a vegan.  In fact, it’s this recent deadly meat crisis that has prompted me to write this post.   Nine people have died so far from this. http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2008/08/29/listeria-fri.html   As I’m editing this post, I’ve just read that one person has died and 87 others are infected with salmonellosis in Québec. http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2008/08/29/samomella-que.html

Being a vegan is challenging in the sense that you need to pay attention to what you’re putting in your mouth, and finding acceptable food subsitutes can be tricky.  But it’s dealing with the social aspects of being a vegan that can sometimes get on my nerves.  Ok, really it’s dealing with narrow-minded nincompoops that gets on my nerves.  When you tell someone who is not a vegan about your being a vegan, you will be put on the defensive, even if you’re not skating defense.   You would think that you are stabbing them in the back by their surprised and dismayed reaction, as if you’ve betrayed the human race.  People react to a vegan the same way they react when the topic of religion comes up.  They’ll pull all they know out of their brains to counter anything positive you might say about veganism.  Heck, you might’ve only uttered those three little words, “I am vegan”, without any malice or without passing any judgement on their lifestyle, just as a general non-offending comment, and they’ll immediately rip you up and down with fallacies and misguided facts on nutrition.  Then they’ll smugly say something like “Ha, I bet you still eat chocolate, though? Eh?  A chocolate-eating vegan!  Yeah, that makes alot of sense.”  This from the mouths who chow down on hormone-injected dead flesh, who suck in over 4,000 chemicals in 10 minutes on their cigarettes, who think pop is a good subsitute for water.   Whoops, guess I’m passing judgement there….I never said I was perfect.

In fact, I know I’m not a perfect vegan.  When my children have a blast baking up a storm in the kitchen on a rainy afternoon, and they go through great efforts to create a tea party in the dining room, AS IF I’m going to refuse to taste their gooey brownies or their chocolate toffee bars!  To me, the experience of feeling close with my kids, seeing their expectant eyes as I bite into their yummy treats, and their mile-wide smiles knowing we’re sharing way more than just food, is for me as nourishing and transcendental as prayer.  And as much as I’m willing to break my vegan “rules” for my children, they along with my husband are also my main reason for trying to take care of myself as best I can. 

Love,

Chantal xoxoxoxo

Medicines of the Soul

When you read a book, what do you expect to get out of it?  Losing yourself for a little while in another world?  Gaining insight into another’s perspective?  How about augmenting your vocabulary, or finding out about something previously unknown to you?  Probably all of the above.  One thing reading certainly does is create space in your mind for empathy, whether you’re conscious of it or not.  I think it’s difficult to be a reader and be close-minded to others, or to new ideas or concepts.    By reading, not only are you opening up a whole new world with each book you crack open, but you are opening yourself up to a whole new experience, and then relating that experience to your daily life.   The relationship between the human soul (where the mind and heart reside) and books (writing and reading of) is very much a co-evolutionary process, even if a book is not alive in the sense of undergoing biological evolution.   But each influences the other, the book influences the soul, the soul influences the book by guiding the human to have experiences that create and inspire more writing of books.  Each exerts pressures on the other, and so affecting each other’s evolution.

 

I’ve finished reading Diary of A Bad Year, by J.M. Coetzee.  This book has been one of the most unique reading experiences I’ve ever had.   J.M. Coetzee is a new discovery of mine, and again, I’m left scratching my head, wondering where I’ve been all these years.   He’s a prolific writer, and you can read more about him here. I have yet to read his other works, but I look forward to it.   In the meantime, Diary of A Bad Year is in a class of its own.    

Understanding.  Empathy.  Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes.  Sometimes, I have no idea why I was drawn to pick up a book until I get to the end of the story.  In the case of Let The Northern Lights Erase Your Name, by Vendela Vida, I didn’t have to wait til the end.   You would think that after years of reading, that I’d get a little jaded, but I don’t…..I’m often surprised at the meaning and parallels to my own life that I’m able to draw from such vast arrays of stories.  Do you do this when you read, too?  Do you start out a book, thinking general thoughts, then as you go along, the writing is so excellent that you start nodding in recognition at the emotions and events in the lives of the characters?  The author triggers in you things you may have forgotten, or things you wish you could remember more clearly.  You may be left with deeper longings than when you started, that’s a result of co-evolution.  The rewards of searching your soul by being present to what you’re reading, to let the meanings come to you rather than searching them out, is as effective (and cheaper) than therapy. 

Love,

Chantal xoxoxo

P.S.:  Harper Perennial has a feature with their paperbacks called “P.S.  Insights, Interviews, and More” at the end of the book.  These 16 extra pages contain an interview with the author, as well as the author’s book recommendations. 

P.S.S.:  Diary of a Bad Year and Let the Northern Lights Erase Your Name updated in The Ideal Life According to Mark Twain page. 

 

 

 

 

Weekend Ramble

Allow me to introduce you to Sorrow, in case you haven’t had a chance to visit her site yet.  She’s an ingenuous, creative, talented and generous person with  a heart of gold.   And if you need more convincing, she puts her talent where her heart is, actually doing something tangible to make the world a better place.    

For those of you who reside in the US, here is something that might interest you.   The National Fatherhood Initiative is putting on a “Fatherhood Means….” challenge, giving you the opportunity to share your memories about your father, or about what it means to be a father.   This was brought to my attention, and I found it worthy that an organization such as this one exists, and so I’m passing it on.   

Update on Gardasil:  I’m not sure what has struck a chord with me about this whole thing, but I was pleased to see in a national American women’s magazine a two-page leaflet summary of the vaccine, based on information found on Gardasil.com.   In this summary, Merck & Co Inc. seem to be as intent on providing safety information as they are on promoting the vaccine: they stress the importance of receiving regular cervical cancer screenings,  they mention that Gardasil will not treat cervical cancer or genital warts, that Gardasil MAY help guard you from certain types of HPV.   The possible side-effects are listed, (but they don’t mention death).   This “summary” inserted in popular magazines, comes nearly a year AFTER the vaccine hit the markets in Canada (it’s been given since 2006 in the States and the UK), but better late than never, I guess…….except maybe for the 11 deaths so far that have been attributed to the vaccine,  it’s too late for them (I won’t bother linking, you can Google Gardasil deaths……).   Am I trying to scare you?  Yes.

I try to be as green as I can.  I even put forth a few suggestions to my supervisor the other day, on how we can reduce our usage of paper in the workplace.  It felt good to be a productive employee who was looking to improve things.   So later on that day, after I had emailed my supervisor with my ideas, I was searching for information in our local manual, which is set up on a Word Document; this is different from our national manual, which is online.    We use our local manual  for instructions that apply to our particular office, kind of like an addendum to the national manual.  ANYWAYS……

Because it’s online, when you print from the national manual, you only print that one page that you’re viewing.  For the local manual however, if you hit print instead of cutting and pasting the section you want to print to a blank page, you will print the ENTIRE manual, all 70-some pages of it……So guess what I did that wonderful day where I was feeling a little too good about myself for being such a green employee?  I forgot to cut & paste the section of the local manual that I needed, and instead I clicked the print icon.  After taking in a few sharp breaths, and wanting to cancel the printing operation (but forgetting where I needed to click) in my “énervement” to stop the presses, I clicked the same print button AGAIN!!!!   I quickly got up, went to the printer and stood there as casually as possible, wondering who was going to stand up and say “Who’s the tree-killer?”  Thankfully, no one paid any mind, and I slunk back to my desk, a wasteful stack of papers in my hands.   I sat there, dumbfounded at my own dumbness……I still have those papers on my desk, as a reminder NOT TO DO THAT AGAIN.    One-third of a tree is needed to make 3,000 sheets of paper.   (Dear Supervisor, if you read this, I apologize.).

Books I’ve recently enjoyed:  Meditations from Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch.   I’ll have to buy a copy of this booklet, the one I have I borrowed from the library, and it must go back soon.  It’s been by my side for a few weeks and I refer to it constantly. 

Parent As Mystic, Mystic As Parent, by David Spangler.  A different approach to parenting, one that’s a little more in line with my soul.   As with all parenting books, take from it what you need.  This book was easy to read in a busy day, it’s not necessary to read it cover to cover, you can jump around.   It gives many hands-on things to do as a parent, but it also speaks to your parent-soul, it allows you to meditate what you’re reading so that it becomes a part of you, you’re not just reading a how-to manual.

Spirit Games: 300 Fun Activities That Bring Children Comfort and Joy, by Barbara Sher.  Another book I need to buy (sigh).   I have all these bookmarks in it and am trying to write down the activities I feel could benefit the kids & I, before I bring it back to the library.  I know, I could photocopy some of it, but I’ve already been less-than-green lately….. Anyhow, I’ve already brought one of the activities into our lives, and you probably already do this without thinking, but at snack time before bed, I make it a point to SIT DOWN with the kids at the table instead of being busy in the kitchen while they eat; and while I’m sitting there, we talk, and I ask them “What made you smile today?”  We all get a chance to say one thing, then the dialogue is open to talk (or not) about the smiley thing.   It’s just a small way to reinforce the positive.  My son P is a very enthusiastic participant in everything, but my daughter, who’s 11, liked to make it seem that talking about what makes you smile is silly, and the first few times, she would roll her eyes and sigh and say something just for the sake of saying something.  She’s coming around, though.  I think she just likes me sitting there listening to her talk.  And that makes me smile. 

This week, at work, our Employee Assistance Program buddied up with our Employment Equity Committee at work and presented a Lunch and Learn session, where you could sign up for a presentation on Self-Care Strategies for Single Parents.   I thought it would be good to see what was offered and so I signed up to spend my lunch on Thursday gaining some new insights.  There were about 15-20 people in attendance, all women except for one young guy (which I thought was very progressive of him to sign up).   The presenter was a very empathetic woman (whom I knew already as she worked with my ex-husband in counselling), and in the 45 minutes that we had, we received good information on the importance of taking care of yourself when you’re a single parent, and all the resources available in the community.   We were going through an extensive list of self-care strategies (hobbies, friendships, relaxing), when the presenter came upon the following:  Learn about visualization and meditation.  Except that she read it out loud as Learn about visualization and MEDICATION.    Well, we all just roared at her Freudian slip! 

“Curiosity is, in great and generous minds, the first passion and the last.”  Samuel Johnson

   

We Can Run But We Can’t Hide

 

In keeping with the death theme that seems to be the trend in my reading selection lately……

I picked up a copy of this book at a used book sale somewhere, because I really like Douglas Coupland (and I love a bargain even more!).   I find him to be highly intelligent (I sometimes need a dictionary when I read his stuff), and extremely versatile.  He writes fiction and non-fiction, he’s a visual artist, and he does a whole bunch of other things that you can discover here http://www.coupland.com/.

I’ve read some of his other books that I’ll eventually put up in my Mark Twain page, but I thought I’d start with this one  http://www.harpercollins.com/books/9780060987213/Polaroids_from_the_Dead/index.aspx .    Interesting and very cerebral, I sometimes have to re-read a paragraph, just so I can marvel at this guy’s train of thought.    Polaroids From The Dead is an interesting presentation of several stories, some fiction, some not.   If you’re a Deadhead, you might enjoy the trip.  I’m not a Deadhead, but I love anything connected to the Sixties.   I still see things through my rose-coloured John Lennon granny glasses…..for some reason, even though I came of age in the late 70s, early 80s, there’s a connection within me to the Sixties that I’ve nourished since I was a kid, through music and books.     The politics and events of that time helped to shape my own current views on life and society today.    My copy of Coupland’s book is a used one, it belonged to a girl who went to Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario, a girl named Hope.  Based on the inscriptions on the front cover, she was enrolled in the Arts & Science program in 1998.   Inside the book, at the chapter entitled “You Can’t Remember What You Chose To Forget“, she wrote in big block letters:  Why I Hate My Generation.  It’s interesting when you read a book that someone else has written in, it’s like discovering a hidden clue.  Even if you don’t know who the person is, you get the sense that you’re sharing in their thoughts somehow.  

Some of the other stories in Coupland’s Polaroids From the Dead are commentaries on modern society, and the flourishing trend of humans being detached and hyperbusy doing nothing important.   This book was published in 1996, the year my daughter was born.  When I read the essay entitled ”Brentwood Notebook”, it made me think of  ”the more things change, the more they stay the same”.    Twelve years, from 1996 to 2008, isn’t really a very long span in the big picture, yet so much has happened in that time, that when you actually stop & reflect, it’s pretty mind-boggling.   

“Perhaps nature builds into us and into the world a sense of amnesia, and maybe this is our saving grace as humans, our ability to seemingly forget on cue.  We are blessed and cursed with an amnesia that is so large that it frightens us while it protects us both while we sleep and while we dream.    And yes we still do dream of cities where there is still no pst and where the future remains entirely unwritten, of cities where there are grassy canyons and water glazed by the sun into gold, of a billion butterflies floating through a billion coral trees, of water piped in from heaven and where there are limitless gleaming wide white freeways that will lead us off into infinity.”

Douglas Coupland

(added to the Ideal Life,  According To Mark Twain page in sidebar)

Finding the Exit in the Twilight Zone

The following may not make any sense, unless you’re a parent with sick children and are sleep-deprived. 

 Cue Helen Reddy:

I am tired (tired)

I am uninspired (uninspired). 

I am WOMAN.   Or more precisely, I am MOTHER. 

Last Sunday, P missed his first hockey tournament championship game (which they won! Go Wolverines Go!) because he spiked a fever and couldn’t get out of bed.  That Sunday night, G came down with a fever of her very own, so Monday was a home-sick day because I played Florence Nightingale most of the night.  Tuesday, G bounded out of bed coughing but feeling better, so off to school they went, and I heigh-hoed to work.  11:15am, the school called: P was not feeling well.  Heigh-hoed it back home.  Wednesday and Thursday P was still coughing, but he went to school because he was really worried about missing homework and having to catch up (that’s a whole other post for a whole other day), I went to work.  G was with her dad (P is now living with me all the time on a trial basis, spending every other weekend with his father…..I know, I haven’t mentioned it before because there’s just TOO MUCH GOING ON!  But I’m mentioning it now).  So Friday morning, P still wasn’t feeling well, so we stayed home.    The kids spent the weekend with their father, I got a chance to rest up (little did I know I was going to need it!), and I woke this morning with all the good intentions one has on a Monday morning….. a new day, a new week, this week will be good I thought.  No missed work, no missed school,  I have hot water again, I want to get back into walking in the morning, I’ve switched the bedroom arrangements (G & I share the master bedroom now and P has his own room…….see I TOLD you lots was going on!) and the bulk of that transition is just about done; at least we’re not camping out in the living room surrounded by dressers and bookcases….although that was fun. 

Ok, where was I?  Oh yeah, so this morning, I got to work, started my day, looked forward to accomplishing more than I did last week, and was thinking about the kids and what we were going to do this week, especially on Friday, which is a professional development day for teachers, which means no school for kids.  I decided I’d take a vacation day with them rather than enrol them in a day camp….so I was thinking of what we could do on that day that would be fun. 

Then my phone rings.  It’s the school.  Great……

I picked up G at school, she’s coughing her head off, her ears & throat hurt, and her nose is all red, she’s pale and tired.  I called the doctor’s office before leaving my place of work, and explained the whole scenario, and to my great surprise, the receptionist said “Sure, bring her in.”  Just like that.  (I am woman, hear me roar).   The usual response is “He can see her in two weeks, or you can take her to the clinic.“  So we zipped to the doctor’s office & waited patiently for an hour,  to be told she has a mild lung infection which we received a prescription for.  

Meanwhile, back home, as G rested  in bed with orange juice and High School Musical 2 playing on my laptop (those songs drive me crazy, they stick in your brain like glue), I sat writing out lists of things I needed to remember, or maybe I wanted to forget……anyhow, my stream of consciousness sort of looked like this:

get licence plates stickers will have to go to the actual office sometime before March because the self-service kiosk that they have set up in the mall for just this purpose doesn’t issue stickers for vehicles like mine (wtf?  It’s a little Hyundai Accent…..good grief)/confirm dental appointments for the kids I’ll have to take time off again to take them and plus I have to reschedule G’s chiropractic appointment cause it’s on the same day and I don’t have time to bring them to the dentist at 4:30 and then drive halfway across town to the chiropractor’s on time for the 5:45 appointment/my left eyelid is forever twitching….I need to sleep/call the car dealership to bring the car in for an oil change which they can do next week on payday because they want to change the fluids and that’ll cost me/call the dealership back tomorrow because the 8am appointment won’t work as I have P with me now, try and reschedule it for 8:45, that way I can drive P to school, bring the car in & they can shuttle me to work; why did I make that appointment at 8?/remember to bring P to the family therapist (see I TOLD you lots was going on…..this therapy is a good thing, though, we’re all going P, G, me & their dad, but for this next appointment she only wants to see P) & remember to ask for time off from work…..again/the Roman Catholic Church has now succeeded in getting on my last nerve/when I go back to work, which I don’t think I’ll be doing tomorrow, but when I go back, remember to check how much family-related time I have because I think I used up whatever I had left last week when the kids were sick…./what is it with the weird dreams lately?  Men walking baby hippopotamus’ on a leash, a man from work wearing a cape made of black crow feathers……my dreams look like something from the Beatles in their psychedelic phase/think of something more nutritious to serve the kids other than frozen pizza/get back on the treadmill asap (well, not right this minute, but soon) and look into pre-menopause because I might be there, my period was early again and I can’t eat an apple without my stomache feeling like I’ve eaten a ten-course meal/did I remember to pay the bills I needed to this month?  I’m sure I did, I don’t think anything’s outstanding…..well, if I missed one, I’m sure they’ll let me know and maybe I should shuffle some money around just so I don’t find myself on the short end of the stick with an unforseeable expense on my hands like needing new tires/nine more days until Sweet Man’s visit! Good grief I need me a pedicure…….and colour my hair…./I read today that the kids’ backpacks should weigh less than 10% of each child’s weight…..must check on that, weigh their bags tomorrow morning, just to make sure/I really need to write to blog to create and the well seems dry or the writer is tired or she feels anything she has to say is redundant and boring and who the heck really cares if I talk AGAIN about Gardasil or how my family doctor today says to me as he’s writing out G’s prescription: “So did you get my letter on HPV?” “No”, I say, “it might’ve went to their father’s address…..”  He keeps writing, then I clue in to what the letter is about…”Oooohhhh, the vaccine? Gardasil?”  He nods, and smiles, pleased that I knew what he was talking about without him saying much (you kind of have to do that sometimes with doctors, know what they’re talking about without them saying much), keeps writing.  “No I didn’t receive the letter, and the answer would be no anyways.”  He stops writing, looks at me, now he’s frowning and gets that look on his face that lets me know he’s more educated than I am………”Really?  Do you know what it’s for?”  Yes, I say.  I REALLY feel like telling him: I probably know more about it than most of the parents who AGREE to this vaccine for their daughters. http://crrz07.wordpress.com/2008/01/10/gardasil-2/   But I just say “Yes, I know what it’s for and my answer is still no.”   He looks dumbfounded and puzzled and keeps cocking his head to one side and frowning and looking at me like I’m an oddity….ahhh these medical people.  I thanked him for seeing us on such short notice,  and as G and I walked out, I felt like singing:   If I have to, I can do anything I am strong (strong) I am invincible (invincible) I am woman!

The kids are asleep now, it’s nearly 11pm, I’m coming to the end of this post, and I know it’s all going to be ok……after I’ve had a glass of wine and given thanks for the food in the cupboard, the gas in the car, the roof over our heads, the friends who listen to my woes, the soulmate who sustains me across the miles (and who loves me, gray hairs & unpedicured feet and all).  And even for the sickie twilight zone days.  I’m thankful it’s only fevers and colds……    

Love, Chantal x0×0