How To Mortify Yourself On Email

May 23

For the past few days, there’s been this link on the Sympatico home page that gives you advice on how to write a sexy email.  I don’t usually seek advice in the sexy department, cause I think when you try to be sexy, you’re not.  It has to come from inside of you.  No, what I need help with is in the “How to control the hovering cursor” department. 

Last summer, I dated a guy for 4 months…and it was 3 months longer than I should have.  Nice guy, but not my type, or maybe I wasn’t his type.  We began dating in July & by the end of November I broke it off (another story for another day…) Anyways, during the first month that we were dating, I was happy, passionate, attentive, wanting to show how much this person meant to me, and how I felt about him.  Which in the first throes of a relationship is pretty darn good.  All that exhiliration got me all excited one morning as I was getting ready for work, and I decided to send him a steamy email.  And omigod it was a good one, one of the hottest I’ve ever written. 

Before I began writing my hot email to this person who at the time I thought I was gaga over (I shake my head as I write this, still not believing how I get myself into these relationships, but anyways, it’s over now….moving on!), I had clicked on his email address in my  “favourite contacts” column which appears right beside whichever email I start writing.  So I finish writing the too-hot-to-handle email to this guy, proof-read it, and clicked on Send.  After the message is sent, you know how you get that screen that says “Your message was sent to so&so.”?

Ok, good.  So that screen comes on and calmly informs me that  “Your message was sent to ManYouThinkOfAsBoyfriend  (good) AND  also to ExSpouse’sBrother&HisWife (really bad)”.  It took me two whole seconds to process the following in my brain before I thought I would throw up:  As I was proof-reading my little missive of pleasure, unbeknownst to me, my deviant little cursor was hovering in the “favourite contacts” column on the right of my screen.  And sometimes if my cursor is hovering too long over a certain link, it will click on it by itself (little bugger).  So it must have been hovering over the email address of my ex-brother-in-law & his wife & automatically clicked on it, thereby inserting their email address in the TO: line next to the email address of the guy I was dating!!!!!!!!

OMIGOD!  Ex-Brother-In-Law & Wifey are going to get this email!!!!!  AUGGGGHHHH!!! And “Guy I Think of As Boyfriend” will see that I’ve sent a very intimate email to him AND to somebody else!!!!!!! AUGGGHHHH!!!! 

Seeing that I wasn’t going to get over the feeling of wanting to vomit anytime soon, and knowing that I needed to do something quick, I frantically searched how to recall an email, which I never found how to do….I racked my brain looking for the information (I know I can do this at work! Why can’t I recall an email at home!?!?!?!?)  After five minutes of that, I decided to just send another email to my ex-brother&sister-in-law, and explain what a stupid idiot thing I did, that if they hadn’t read the other email yet, to please not read it….I profusely apologized, and ended by saying that if by chance they HAD read the email, well, if their sex life needed some spicing up, they were welcome to use it.   What else could I say in the face of such humiliation?

I spent the whole day feeling mortified and foolish, and tried to console myself with the thought that this could have been MUCH worse:  favourite contacts are listed alphabetically and had my cursor been hovering just below where it was, I would’ve ended up sending that hot email to my EX!!!!! 

My idea to inject a little passion had turned into an embarrassing ”message-à-trois”…….In the end though, I didn’t have much to worry about.   My ex-brother&sister-in-law never replied and I haven’t seen or spoken to them since, which is ok by me.  And if we ever meet up again, and they bring it up, I know we can laugh about it.

As for my “boyfriend”, not only did he NOT notice that the email was sent to another person in addition to himself, BUT his entire reaction to the content of that email was less than enthusiastic.  I compare his reaction to how you or I would react to receiving a letter from the phone company advising us we can save big bucks on long-distance rates.  Actually, looking back as I write this, that embarassing blunder foretold alot of things about him that I found  were lacking, and which I happily discovered that I need in a man.  Like passion, enthusiasm, knowing how to appreciate generosity, sexual or otherwise, in your partner,  that when you haven’t seen each other in nearly 10 days it’s ok to stop folding the laundry & hug that person & show them that you think they’re the cat’s meow!  But I digress….

My lesson in all this?  I’ll still write steamy emails…..only now I’ve cleared my “favourite contacts” list

Love,

Chantal

xoxoxo 

5:22 AM | Add a comment | Read comments (2) | Send a message | Permalink | Trackbacks (0) | Blog it | I Do This To Make You Look Good